Posted on Apr 13, 2012

An Early American Leadership Couple

How does one have a meaningful and happy marriage when your primary focus is on national politics? Add to that a burning desire to significantly influence the future of a nation, and play a primary role in a revolution, suggests that the likelihood of a successful marriage was not good.

Yet, it is well documented that the man who became the first Vice-President and the second President of the United States had a strong marriage.

John Adams and Abigail Adams are a wonderful example of how a husband and wife can have both a solid marriage and a meaningful life together. They also provide hope that couples can survive personal pain and tragedy, while experiencing the many joys of life.

Married in 1764, the Adams had 6 children. The last child, Elizabeth, was stillborn. Their daughter Susanna died only 14 months old. Their son, Charles died of alcoholism at age 30. Their daughter “Nabby” died of breast cancer at age 48, after her marriage failed. And their son, John Quincy Adams, went on to become the sixth President of the United States.

John and Abigail were married 54 years. They were a leadership couple of one mind and one heart.

John Adams

A lawyer, statesman, diplomat and political theorist, John Adams was one of the Founding Fathers of America. He served as Vice President to the first President, George Washington, and then became the second President of the United States (1797–1801).

Adams was born to a modest family, but embraced a sense of responsibility to live up to his family heritage. He possessed a strong value system and an unshakable belief in freedom and inalienable rights.

Based on the 1,200 letters written back and forth between John and Abigail, we possess a wealth of insight into this time period, and a very strong husband and wife relationship.

As the first president to occupy the White House, still under construction in November 1800, Adams offered a quiet blessing for all future presidents. In a letter to his wife on the second evening of his stay, he wrote: “Before I end my letter, I pray Heaven to bestow the best of Blessings on this House and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise Men ever rule under this roof.”

John and Abigail were fully engaged with their mission: building America.

Abigail Smith Adams

As the wife of one president and mother to a future president, Abigail Adams was one extraordinary woman.

Even though she was self-educated, Abigail was one of the most learned women ever to serve as First Lady. As an intellectually open-minded woman for her day, Abigail’s ideas on women’s rights and government played a major role in the founding of the United States. In March 1776 she wrote to John and the Continental Congress “…remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation.”

A woman of both passion and principle, Abigail wrote better letters than John. And that really says something, considering that John was one of the best letter-writers of the time.

Her letters to him were strong, vivid and amusing, detailing a life in the midst of a revolution.

Through the rich correspondence recorded between John and Abigail, we see both an openness and intimacy within this couple. John frequently sought the advice of Abigail on many matters. His trust in her was sincere.

Due to John’s various roles and travels, as he served the country they both loved, Abigail was separated from her husband for long periods of time. We now see the story of a woman who stayed at home to run the farm with a minimum of help, struggling with wartime shortages and inflation, while trying to teach four children when formal education was interrupted.

Her letters to John also tell of a wife missing her husband, her “dearest Friend.” In two of these letters, Abigail writes:
– “One single expression dwelt upon my mind and played about my Heart….”
– “Alas! How many snow banks divide thee and me….”

John and Abigail Adams possessed a powerful combination of intelligence and love, filled with strength of character, and wrapped in clarity of purpose. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that this couple is remembered for their valued support and efforts in the founding of a great nation.

They were an early American leadership couple.