Posted on May 10, 2012

Is wonder still alive in your marriage?

Do you remember when your heart skipped a beat at the thought of going out on a date with the love of your life?

Or remember as a child looking at the Christmas tree with the sea of presents underneath, and you were bursting with curiosity?

Maybe you’ve had the opportunity to stand at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking in awe at the sheer depth and beauty of this expansive marvel.

An ecstatic expectation. An overwhelming desire to know more. A deep sense of humility. These are all powerful feelings that accompany the value of wonder.

The Value of Wonder

As a differentiating value, Wonder means something that causes amazement or awe; curiosity.

When someone we trust or admire asks us to “Imagine….” they are tapping the edges of wonder. The beginning of new possibilities is opening up. Hope is on the horizon.

The value of wonder possesses a power to draw us in, to pull us closer, to engage us. It opens doors we didn’t know existed in our heart, mind, and soul.

We are all born with an automatic understanding of this value.

Just look into the eyes of a newborn and you will see it there. You’ll also see the reflection of your own wonder at how God can make such a perfect tiny human being who can capture your heart. Both father and mother can hold their newborn child and feel the tug of wonder.

But what about that same feeling between the husband and wife? Where did it go?

Just like the Grand Canyon, it is still there. We’ve just stepped away from the edge and forgotten about it.

Wonder in Marriage

Creating wonder takes work. It requires thought, planning, and careful execution.

Wonder occurred the day you proposed to get married. You prepared for and planned where, when and how you would ask the big question.

Wonder occurred the day you delivered your baby. After nine months of preparation, you suffered greatly to give life to a child, a gift to you and your husband as a product of your love.

Wonder occurred the day you bought or built your first home, and you could exclaim “we did it!” No matter how scary it seemed, you proved that you could move forward – together.

So what can you do for your marriage – now?

Is there a major trip somewhere you and your spouse have been talking about that you could begin planning? This is not about looking for the cheapest flights. It’s about planning the experience. What cities will you visit? What major attractions will you see? Can you arrange a meeting with someone famous? Are there special places to eat, and specific kinds of foods you will want to try? What books, maps, flyers can you order to help plan and prepare?

Is there a major initiative that your spouse longs to move forward? Maybe it’s a home renovation project. Maybe it’s bringing local kids together to start a little league, or starting a new ministry to help a specific group of people in need.

When creating a ‘wonder’ you need to consider how you can put all the pieces in place – but NOT put it together. Be sure to leave room for curiosity that leads to some amazement. Allow your spouse to experience the joy of discovery as they learn about each part of the plan, one piece at a time.

And don’t forget to allow your spouse to participate in the planning experience. Wonder is not just about the product (outcome). The process or road to get there is just as important for both of you to experience together.

Wonders need time to be fully experienced.

The magic of wonder in marriage is to learn that your spouse – yes YOUR spouse – put all that thought, time, and energy into something for you. They were thinking about you!

Building wonders into a marriage can make a marriage wonderful.