Posted on May 24, 2012

Reaping the rewards of longevity in marriage

How long can you hold your breath under water?

Some couples approach marriage as though they are holding their breath, waiting for ‘something’. For them something generally happens, and the outcome isn’t good.

Other couples approach marriage breathing normally and simply focus on making good things happen. For them, the good things compound over time to create a fabulous outcome.

What’s the difference?

Those married couples that embrace the value of longevity at the beginning have a positive view of the long haul. While not all details are clearly visible, the rewards of working together are inherently understood.

The Value of Longevity

As a value, Longevity means duration of service; long-lived. To experience this requires time.

Here’s the question that helps determine if this value is for you in your marriage:
Is the thought of ‘duration of service’ or ‘long-lived’ positive or negative to you?

If it’s negative, this value is not for you. But if this is a positive thought, with your spouse, then you are on your way to reaping some fabulous rewards.

This doesn’t mean there are no issues, troubles, conflicts, and challenges. On the contrary, couples who embrace the value of longevity actually experienced MORE challenges than others.

How can that be?

Couples who focus on making good things happen don’t hesitate to jump into circumstances to make a difference. It’s messy. It stinks. And it’s rewarding.

In fact, they don’t see any other option than working together. They are committed to making things better – together.

Sample Rewards from Example Couples

Over the past number of months, I have highlight a number of couples married 50+ years, serving others and each other. Some are famous, known and honored by many people. Some are famous to only a select group of people.

They all have led (and some continue to lead) meaningful lives. These include:

Ronald & Nancy Reagan – are remembered for strong leadership, particularly when Ronald was President of the United States. But they are also remembered for their devotion to each other and how they “never took each other for granted.” What a great example and role model for all married couples.

Gerald & Shirley Herron – are remembered for their incredible faith and trust in God. When Gerald presented his wife with a gold medal on their 50^th anniversary, he was honoring her faithfulness in supporting him the many years while he served God’s children.

John & Annie Glenn – are remembered for being heroes, John for being the first person to orbit the earth, and Annie for triumphing over a severe speech disability (at age 53!). There are also remembered for embracing longevity in how they admire, support, and encourage one another – for 68 years!

Charles & Mary Ferguson – are remembered for living, learning, and laughing through a life together. Yes they are my parents. And I admire them greatly. As do many others. They are celebrated for pouring themselves into others, to ensure the lasting value of God’s love is felt and embraced by everyone.

Ken & Marjorie Blanchard (married 50 years next month) are remembered for being a dynamic couple in business together. Their leadership in teaching important lessons on leadership will have an impact on generations to come.

Now, few couples set out to change the world when they first started. But over time, their willingness to endure and work together begins to have a compounding effect. The results prove that they did indeed change the world.

And they didn’t have to hold their breath to reap the rewards.