Posted on Mar 8, 2013

Improving Your Marriage Through Enrichment

The original version of this was posted on Leadership Couples.

If you have been married for some time – 10, 20, or 30+ years – you know that feeling when you and your spouse have stopped growing. You’ve reached a plateau.

Nothing is horribly wrong. There’s likely a strong sense of routine. Life is ok, but is that it? How do you continue advancing your marriage?

Embrace the value of improvement.

As a differentiating value, Improvement means a change for the better; progress in development; advancement.

Great, but how does one improve their marriage? The secret is enrichment.

Enrichment means the act of making fuller or more meaningful or rewarding. Wouldn’t be nice to have a more meaningful and rewarding marriage?

Now, before you contemplate if you are ready to enrich your marriage, consider how business owners do this for their business.

A Healthy Business Model

As business owners, you might be familiar with a common saying: There’s a time to work IN the business. And there’s a time to work ON the business.

Most of your time is spent working IN the business.

Doing the work.
Solving problems.
Encouraging people.

Occasionally, you need to invest time ON the business.

Reflecting on what’s working, what’s not working, and what should be done differently.
Reviewing where you are with respect to where you want to be.
Planning your next steps to build the business and move it forward.

The key benefit of this model is the ability it affords you to step back and be your own consultant. It’s a great way to quickly assess progress and determine what needs to change. In this case, change is seen as a good thing because it means you will move closer to your goals.

So why not apply this same model to your marriage? Invest some time ON your marriage.

Focusing On Your Marriage

A great tool to help couples focus ON their marriage is an assessment through PREPARE/ENRICH (P/E). This is one of the best marriage preparation and enrichment programs available and has been around for over 30 years.

Lori and I have been certified P/E facilitators since 2011. We really enjoy working with couples, leading them through the P/E assessment, identifying areas of strength, and helping them in areas of growth.

For couples who desire to enrich their marriage, there are 9 potential areas:

Commitment
Conflict Resolution
Partner Style & Habits
Financial Management
Leisure Activities
Sexual Relationship
Family & Friends
Role Transitions
Spiritual Beliefs

After completing an assessment, it’s not uncommon to find a few areas of real strength. The question is: Are you leveraging these effectively to help you grow in other areas? There also might be one or two areas that need some diligent work. Could you benefit from having a facilitator help you resolve some long-standing issues and provide some useful tools?

Note: the PREPARE/ENRICH program is NOT a test. It’s just an assessment, designed to help couples who want to improve their marriage.

So, if you have that feeling of being on a plateau in your marriage, and you’re ready to embrace the value of improvement, now is the perfect time to invest in enriching it.