The Value of Fortitude in Marriage

The value of fortitude means strength of mind that enables one to endure adversity with courage.

Marriage Questions:

• What did you think your wedding vow meant when you said “… for better or for worse…”?
• How different would your challenges look if you and your spouse tackled them together?
• Have you and your spouse ever lived through a difficult experience that proved to be a huge blessing in the end?
• In your current situation, think about the best, worst and most probably scenarios. Which one are your actions aligned to achieve?

An Attitude of Fortitude

Adversity can show up in different ways. Sometimes the issues are major, such as when your spouse falls ill, or your child gets into trouble with the law. Maybe you lose your job, or something dramatic happens in your church and you lose your minister.

Of course, adversity also comes in smaller packages too. You find water dripping from the ceiling and uncover a major water leak. You notice your fridge is dying, as it no longer preserves your food. You discover an ant trail into your kitchen, and find the entry point.

All of these challenges – big and small – lead to major stress on a marriage. The discussions alone can be worse than the problem. What’s the best course of action? Who will do what and by when? What sacrifices will be made, and by whom, to address the challenge? How will you pay for it all?

So how do you endure such adversity? Put on an attitude of fortitude.

Fortitude is having the strength of mind to endure adversity. It’s all about attitude – and attitude is a choice.

Now maybe you’re thinking: “Ok, I’m game, but my spouse won’t go along.”

Question: Are you looking for your spouse to prove they have fortitude before you do? Why shouldn’t you embrace it first?  Be an example. Show some courage. Set the tone. Start a new trend in your marriage.

Here I think of Rachelle Friedman who suddenly found herself a quadriplegic after a freak pool accident. Was that the end? No, she went on to get married, is writing a book and making the most of her life, together with her husband Chris. This couple demonstrates fortitude everyday.

I also think of my good friend Peter Knoblauch, who regularly embraces H.E.L.P. in his support for his wife, Donna, with her severe depression. I admire them greatly, as Peter and Donna have been demonstrating fortitude for more than a decade.

Maybe there’s a couple in your life that inspires you and your spouse with their fortitude. It might be from an ongoing challenge or it just might be how they handle the smaller issues of life. Please share who inspires you!

Now the question is: how are you and your spouse inspiring others with your fortitude in marriage? Remember, fortitude is all about attitude!

How can the value of fortitude help improve your marriage and the lives of others?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Determination-Focus” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.