Posted on Apr 24, 2013

What Children and Parents Know that Many Leaders Have Forgotten

The value of candor means being honest and straightforward in attitude and speech; fairness.

Leadership Questions:

Do you always speak the truth (in love), even if it hurts?
How can you ensure your body language matches the openness and honesty you know you need to express?
When you’re wrong, can you freely and openly admit it?
Do you speak to others, as you would have others speak to you? (Golden Rule)
When is it hardest to accept responsibility for your mistakes? Why?
How well do you walk your talk?
When was the last time you were candid with yourself?

Getting Comfortable (again) with Candor

Do you find it uncomfortable to be candid with others? Is it hard to be straightforward with those you lead? Can it be difficult to be perfectly honest with your boss? Is it stressful presenting the hard truth to a customer without trying to water-it-down or blame someone (or something) else?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then welcome to the club. You’re part of the majority.

However, it’s interesting to note that children rarely have a problem being candid.

Hey, that’s mine!
Don’t touch that or you’ll break it.
Wanna come out and play with me?
We’ll take turns. You hit the ball and I’ll catch it. Then we’ll switch. Ok?

The others that have no trouble being candid are parents.

If you do that again, you’ll spend the rest of the evening in your room, and without supper.
If you’re not willing to put the effort in to practice, then I’m not willing to spend my time driving you to any more games.
Forget what anyone else says, I know that you’re very capable and can do whatever you put your mind to!
If you get all your homework done by 8 o’clock, then I’ll take you out for ice cream.

In other words, we ALL experience the value of candor growing up. So what happened?

Problems start when we:

Worry more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves.
Become shortsighted, believing short-term gains will offset long-term pain.
Think fairness means treating everyone the same instead of as they deserve.
Focus more on trying to get something instead of giving something.

As a leader, do you want to fix this problem?

Just re-embrace the value of candor. It’s never too late. Simply recall how easy it was for you as a child and say to yourself “I’m starting right now!” You’ll be pleasantly surprised how others – of all ages – will appreciate you more. And if they don’t, then just ignore them and find some new friends.