Posted on Jan 9, 2014

Leveraging the Strength of Connectedness in Marriage

Do you know your strengths? Have you tapped the full potential of your God-given talents?

When Lori and I completed the StrengthsFinder assessment, we discovered a top strength we both share is “Connectedness”. For us, this wasn’t a complete surprise.

As a differentiating value, Connectedness means a relation between things or events; being joined or linked together. The joining of a man and woman in marriage is one form of connectedness. But it means much more.

Here’s how author Tom Rath describes Connectedness in his book Strengthsfinder 2.0:

People exceptionally talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links among all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has meaning.

Rath writes his book from a secular viewpoint and makes no inference to the source of this strength, though he does refer to the soul, collective unconscious, and free will. Since this is a top strength for both Lori and me, we’ll call it what it really is: faith and trust in God.

Of interest, Lori referred to this as our secret to a happy marriage in a recent post.

Connectedness = Responsibility

In his book, Rath describes a key attribute of Connectedness as a feeling of responsibility.

When we understand that we are all part of something much bigger – a grand plan designed by God – we also understand how everyone and everything is connected. We have a responsibility to do our part in God’s plan, for the benefit of others and to help move God’s plan forward.

Maybe you’ve experienced some or all of the following:

That “niggling” feeling inside that you forgot to do something for someone, or that there is something you need to be doing for someone else.
A sensation that something is wrong, like someone is “waving the flag” to get your attention.
A sense of guilt when you didn’t do what you know you should have done, for the benefit of someone else.

In other words, connectedness gives us the capacity to think about others and the relationships between others, versus just thinking of ourselves.

This has important and positive implications in a marriage.

Connectedness in Marriage

The value of connectedness in marriage can lead to many wonderful things, such as helping a husband and wife to:

Share their faith and trust in God with each other, and then for the benefit others.
Listen for what’s really important and then provide good counsel to each other, and then do the same with others.
Inspire each other with hope for a better future, and also encourage others to never give up.
Help each other, and others, to see the bigger picture and the positive impact they are making on the world around them.

And possibly most importantly, connectedness helps a husband and wife develop a sense of purpose that is greater than themselves. In turn, this purpose brings clarity to their mission and vision.

So, if you are seeking a sense of purpose in your marriage, maybe its time to explore the value of connectedness. You just might turn it into a strength that benefits both your marriage and the world around you!