Posted on Mar 27, 2014

Yes, It Is Possible To Experience Ecstasy In Marriage

What comes to mind when you hear about ecstasy in marriage? Thanks to popular culture, there are likely two scenarios:

The euphoria that is associated with sex.
The drug known as Ecstasy.

The drug is illegal, and its use is discouraged.
Sex is not.

In fact, to have a healthy marriage physical intimacy is highly desirable and encouraged.

But are there other forms of ecstasy in a marriage?

Absolutely!

Experience with Ecstasy

Outside of the sensations experienced in a relationship, you have likely already felt ecstasy on a number of occasions:

It’s that sense of pure excitement as a child while ripping open Christmas presents.
It’s that state of frenzy while attending your first rock concert as a teenager.
It’s the high you felt when you learned you were accepted into your first choice college, or just landed the perfect job.

In the relationship between a man and woman, many experience a feeling of ecstasy in the early phases of the relationship. Dr. Gary Chapman coined the term “the tingles” to describe the feelings experienced during the dating period. He suggests that these “tingles” – that feeling of unexplainable euphoria – can last up to two years. But then what happens?

When a couple gets married we’d like to think the ecstasy not only lasts, but gets even better. At least, that’s what we’re told in books and movies.

Sadly, this rarely happens.

When the reality of marriage sets in, many couples experience a similar feeling to losing that childhood experience at Christmas, no longer having that teenage frenzy at concerts, or missing that high from landing a great job.

But it doesn’t have to remain that way.

It is possible to proactively create some ecstasy in marriage.

10 Ways to Create Ecstasy in Marriage

First, consider the meaning of ecstasy as a differentiating value:

Ecstasy = a state of elated bliss; or carried away by overwhelming emotion

If you want to generate a feeling of ecstasy in your marriage, here are a few ideas to help you and your spouse get started:

Read or watch something together that makes you both laugh so hard that you pee your pants.
Play catch with water balloons, and keep moving further apart until someone drops it. The one who gets most wet can break the final balloon over the other one.
Race each other up a hill, carrying a raw egg on a spoon – balanced in your mouth (no hands allowed!)
Buy your spouse a surprise gift (something they would never expect) and invest more energy, and money in a fun way to present it, than the cost of the gift.
Give your spouse a pre-paid card to go shopping for whatever they desire, and then take them out shopping.
Do something wild together that is outside your comfort zone (e.g. sky diving, bungee jumping, race car driving, horse back riding, etc.).
Visit a farm (or the zoo) when a pregnant animal (e.g. a cow or horse) is giving birth, and watch how new life takes shape.
Hike up a mountain or large hill in the very early morning to watch the sun rise.
On a sunny, warm day, take your spouse to a quiet, calm lake and sit together and listen to nature while soaking up the sun.
Sit together by a fire at night and recount your happiest moments in life (so far).