A New Perspective on the Traditions of Marriage

Challenging a tradition can be ok IF it leads to a new appreciation for what really matters. But getting rid of a tradition just because some feel it needs to change – or just because it’s “only” a tradition – helps no one.

Today, many are challenging the traditions that surround marriage. People are questioning:

• How should marriage be defined?
• Who decides if a couple is married, or not?
• Why do couples even need to get married?
• What’s the basis for a couple to claim they’re married?
• How long should a marriage last?
• At what point is a marriage no longer a marriage?
• Does it even matter anymore if a couple is married?

As with most topics, there comes a point (after going around in circles) where the discussion itself becomes meaningless and irrelevant. People then shift their attention to another topic.

Through the process of questioning, did we uncover anything new?

Uncovering What Really Matters

Think of the many conversations which occurred in the 1800s about the moon.

– What was it made of?
– Could people live there?
– What would it be like to stand on it?
– What would the view be like from there?

Of course, now we know the answers to these questions. So the focus naturally has shifted to other things, such as getting to Mars.

But, for a moment, consider what was likely the most important discovery in venturing to the moon:

The awesome view of earth.

Only once man had left earth could he see it from a different perspective. And from this new viewpoint came a new appreciation for the place humans call home.

There is no other place in the universe quite like our earth.

The same can be said about the institution of marriage.

Seeing Marriage from a New Perspective

We’re not meant to remain alone.

God said to the very first man, Adam, “It is not good that man should be alone.” So he made Eve, the first woman. [Genesis 2:18]

We’re not meant to remain at home, with our parents.

God created the institution of marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” [Genesis 2:24]

We’re not meant to remain fruitless.

After the great flood, where most of mankind was destroyed, God started over with Noah and his wife, and Noah’s sons and their wives, and He said: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” [Genesis 9:1]

As a married couple, we’re not meant to be separated until God decides.

Jesus stated that marriage lasts a lifetime: “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” [Matthew 19:6]

In other words, through the institution of marriage no one needs to feel alone, the earth is populated, and the survival of mankind continues.

It has been this way since the beginning of time. Marriage is an important tradition.

The Value of Traditionalism

Some traditions need to be preserved as sacred. Marriage is one of those traditions. And we need to focus on the valuable parts of the traditions, rather than fall prey to only viewing the outward.

As a differentiating value, Traditionalism means an inherited pattern of thought or action; practicing long standing customs.

How does this apply to the outward view of marriage today?

In many parts of the world, a traditional marriage is portrayed as follows:

• A bride wearing a white dress and the groom in a tuxedo.
• The bridal couple standing before a minister, inside a church.
• The bride throwing her bouquet of flowers over her shoulder to potential future brides.
• The happy bridal couple leaving the wedding in a carriage or car with the words “just married” prominently highlighted on the back.

Here’s the problem with this viewpoint: marriage is not defined by the wedding day.

That’s just one day.

We can’t get caught up in only a surface view.

A Real View of Marriage

Marriage spans an entire lifetime where a man and woman work together as “one flesh” and are “fruitful and multiply”. This often includes:

• Many years of sowing and reaping, increasing the overall value of the family.
• Sharing in many experiences of joy, and moments of sadness.
• Expanding the family through the addition of children – biological or adopted.
• Contributing relevant ideas and necessary resources in response to the needs of the community.
• Adding value to others by leading a meaningful life.

Marriage can also include preserving family traditions and practicing long-standing customs, such as:

• Celebrating thanksgiving dinner – giving thanks for all that life holds.
• Opening presents at Christmas – surrounded by generations.
• Honoring the importance of Good Friday and Easter – just as parents & grandparents have.

So, if it were not for the institution of marriage, as God created it, many traditions would be lost.

A New Perspective

Earth, the planet, didn’t change just because we viewed it from the moon. However, we developed a deeper appreciation  of where we originated, because our perspective was enhanced.

So too can the view of traditional marriage be found newly inspiring when we refocus on the traditions inherent in an institution, as God created it to be.

How do you feel about the traditions of marriage?

Have you dug into the traditions in your own marriage? Or have you adapted/adopted marital traditions that will deepen the meaning of what your marriage looks like today and for generations to come?

Don’t get caught up in the surface questioning of a tradition. Look deeper. Understand what the tradition was supposed to demonstrate that is unique and invaluable.

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.