An insightful quote from DeLillo is:
“It occurred to me that eating is the only form of professionalism most people ever attain.”

Well, I guess most of us can claim to be a professional in at least one thing: eating

As a differentiating value, Professionalism means acting as a qualified authority; possessing expertise; or learned.

Traditional professionals were doctors, engineers, lawyers, and even commissioned military officers. Over the years, this list was expanded to include nurses, accountants, educators, and even artists, as we’ll as others.

But today, everyone can choose to be a professional. In fact, anyone can become an expert or qualified authority on a given topic…. providing they are engaged in their area of expertise as a career or occupation and not as a hobby.

In the book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell popularized the concept of the “10,000-Hour Rule” claiming that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours. Think about it. A plumber who has put in 10,000 hours is a professional plumber. The violinist who has put in 10,000 hours is a professional violinist.

Anyone who has dedicated that much time, effort, and energy has embraced the value of professionalism. They’re a professional in their field of expertise.

Today’s value was selected from the “Knowledge-Skillfulness” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

What if you could feel the weight of a growing concern amongst your customers, yet the issue is something no one knows how to easily solve?

With such awareness, would you ignore it, deny it, or open a dialogue about it?

Coca-Cola is one company that has recently decided to talk about a controversial topic of which they are well aware: obesity in America.

Earlier this year, Coca-Cola launched an ad campaign aimed at addressing the company’s role in obesity in America. The company even claims to have worked with school systems to offer bottled water and juices to children. They’re also making an effort to create low-calorie drink options, and offer smaller-sized sodas to help control portion size.

Is it hypocritical or misleading for the world’s largest beverage company to talk about a problem for which they are viewed as a prime source? On this controversial topic, there are clearly two groups: admirers and critics.

As a marketer, I personally admire them.

The Value of Awareness

In spite of their massive size, Coca-Cola has chosen to pull their head out of the sand, become fully aware of the world on which they helped create, and begin a dialogue with consumers on how to address the growing issue of obesity. Who better to help change consumer behavior then one of the best marketers in the world?

To start this process, the company first had to embrace the value of awareness. As a differentiating value, Awareness means having knowledge of; ability to perceive or feel.

It could be argued that Coca-Cola always knew what it was doing. However, the new awareness was the realization that if they don’t help address this major issue, consumers might ask others to do it for them (e.g. government agencies with regulations or insurance companies with higher premiums). Either way, Coca-Cola could experience negative results in sales if they continued to ignore the facts and perceptions.

So why now? What’s changed?

In the past, marketers primarily focused their research efforts on gathering data and information that helped them make more, sell more, or profit more. When anything negative or potentially harmful was uncovered, marketers turned to their PR experts to “handle it”.

But in an increasingly socially connected world, smart marketers are embracing awareness as a differentiating value. The knowledge of how customers really feel about major issues and concerns can open a door to connect and dialogue like nothing marketers have every experienced before.

Note: to do this, you don’t have to be a big multinational conglomerate like Coca-Cola.

3 Local Examples

1. Imagine a mid-sized law firm in your community that openly acknowledges the negativity that many people feel about lawyers (e.g. snakes, dishonest, highly competitive). Maybe they provide a forum to dialogue on how to change this negative perception, or begin altering the behaviors that lead to this perception.
2. Imagine a small community bank that addresses the problem of lack of trust and confidence in all banks (since the financial collapse of 2008), and the fact that community banks are viewed as unstable because of their size. In this case, it’s important customer conversations do not come across as advertising or trying to show the benefits of being small. The real value here is in opening a dialogue on how to the banking system needs to change in order to address the needs of local businesses and consumers.
3. Imagine a small pharmaceutical company that chooses to engage in the touchy subject of costly prescription medication vs. lower-cost natural remedies. By doing this, are they risking that the FDA may frown upon their efforts, harming their chances of getting future drugs approved? Will an open dialogue with consumers cause the insurance companies to remove their drugs from the approved list, or from physicians prescribing them? In a world where consumers are becoming more self-educated patients and partnering with their doctor (instead of remaining passive), it make sense to have an open dialogue with consumers about what they are truly thinking and feeling.

But regardless if the conversation is local, national, or international, the process starts with the value of awareness.

What do you think of Coca-Cola’s approach?

How can the value of awareness help you create competitive advantage?

Today’s value was selected from the “Knowledge-Skillfulness” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

A number of months ago I had the privilege of interviewing a wonderful couple with an amazing story. It’s a beautiful story of redemption and restoration.

Imagine growing up in an environment where your father is an alcoholic and a lousy role model. When you’re 11 years old your father leaves. By 13 your parents are divorced. Then, even if you wanted to reconcile with your father, he dies when you’re 19. To make ends meet, your mother works as a waitress. But the family is still financially broke. So, you decide to join the navy, to get away and start over. You meet a pretty girl, get married young, and have some kids.

But without a solid foundation, how on earth are you going to build a strong marriage and raise a healthy family? While it’s not impossible, it’s very hard to do alone. Under such circumstances, it shouldn’t surprise you when your marriage fails, you can’t seem to keep a job, and you end up with a serious drug addiction problem.

Meet my friend Ken Knutsen.

Now, based on his colorful past, who would be that special person who would want to marry Ken and support him to turn his life around?

Meet Chelsea Knutsen.

While you might think Chelsea is a saint, she’s quick to point out that she too witnessed a lot of negative experiences growing up. This included prostitution and gambling. And she had no real father figure in her life. Like Ken, she was also missing a solid foundation, even to care for herself.

So how can these two people build a meaningful life – together?

From Impossible to Possible

Regarding their marriage, Ken clearly states: “According to the world’s standards, we shouldn’t be married. We would have been voted the least likely to succeed.”

Just consider the challenges for Ken and Chelsea when they first came together:

• Their relationship started as an affair.
• They’re an interracial couple
• Ken had 2 kids.
• Chelsea was young (22 at the time, Ken was 27).
• They were both in serious financial trouble – completely broke.

And yet, they have remained together now for over 15 years – and counting.

How? It all has to do with their faith in God.

In just a few months after getting married, Ken and Chelsea were saved – together. They both found favor in the sight of God and recognized the power of prayer.

From Hurting to Healing

Even after finding salvation through the sacrifice of Christ, Ken’s issues with drug addiction didn’t immediately go away. In fact, for a period of 6 years, the Knutsen’s tried everything. But Ken kept being sucked back into his old habits.

During this difficult period of time, Chelsea remained steadfast in prayer. And as Ken states: “Chelsea is NOT a casual prayer!” In 2004, both Ken and Chelsea engaged in Theophostic Prayer, which they credit for eventually freeing Ken of his addiction. The process took 8 months, going to someone’s home every Friday evening for prayer. But Ken desired to be healed, and he didn’t want the last impression his kids had of him to be a negative one. With confidence, Ken states: “As a Child of God, I knew that God would heal me.”

Through this process of continual prayer, Ken discovered that drugs were only an outward manifestation of other issues that needed to be addressed, in particular his relationship with his (deceased) father. His father was very abusive, a “rage-oholic”, and always cutting down his son. But Ken managed to reach that most important point of forgiveness, and has now forgiven his father and is in peace over all that occurred in his childhood.

Continuous Improvement

Since 2004, Ken & Chelsea have experienced a continuous improvement in their marriage. They say that every year its gotten better and better, from their relationship with each other to their relationship with their kids. And every year they have improved on their financial plan, “chunking away” at their debts. Along the way, they’ve also had many experiences of faith, including:

• Receiving a letter from the IRS stating their tax-debt was paid.
• Receiving an envelope with money when it was most needed (unsolicited).
• Ken landing a great job where he wasn’t really qualified.

Today, Chelsea runs her own recruiting firm, and also loves to help other people with their financial issues. Together, Ken & Chelsea have become a model for other married couples and find great joy in sharing out of their experiences.

Nuggets of Wisdom

Here are a few fabulous nuggets of wisdom, that Ken & Chelsea gladly share with other leadership couples:

• No matter how you grow up, patterns can be changed.
• Take responsibility, but recognize the need for help, especially from God.
  • You can’t change the past, but it is your responsibility to get well.
  • You must deal with past issues, don’t sweep them under the carpet.
  • You can’t always pull yourself up by your bootstraps (as we’re taught).
  • When you reach a point where you realize “I can’t do this alone”, ask God for help.
• Just ‘be there’ for your spouse when they’re going through a tough time.
• Inherently trust the motive in each other. Even if you are unsure and it might be misconstrued, assume first that your spouse didn’t mean it that way.
• Pray with each other. Don’t just talk. Listen, carefully. God will tell you what to pray. (The Knutsen’s get up daily at 5:00 am and pray together.)
• Beware of false priorities. Some couples make kids the most important, while others make their parents the most important (for Ken & Chelsea, they have always put each other first).
• The secret to staying connected in your marriage is to plan getaways 3-4 times a year.
  • Find a cheap hotel in the area, and do a getaway for the weekend.
  • Sometimes, just go have fun (eat, watch movies).
  • Spend quality time discussing issues.
  • Invest a lot of time in prayer.

I know this is a longer post than usual. But there’s a lot of sound advice here. I encourage you to read the nuggets of wisdom again. Ponder each one and discuss with your spouse. On your journey as a leadership couple, let the life experiences of Ken & Chelsea encourage you.

Can you relate to the experiences of Ken & Chelsea, or know someone else who can?

What part of Ken & Chelsea’s story resonates most with you?

Marriage Questions:

• Have you clearly defined what peace looks like for you and your spouse?
• What one thing can restore peace with your spouse like no other? Why that one?
• When you desire peace, what do you value most from your spouse? Have you told them that?
• When is the last time you tried something different to encourage peace at home?

The Presence of Peace

Does a perfect marriage always have harmonious relations? Is it possible to be with someone for 25 or 50 years and have zero disputes? It would be hard to imagine, as discord and disputes are regular occurrences in most marriages. It’s a natural part of living with another human being who makes mistakes, says dumb things, and places their own interests ahead of yours.

But when there is peace in a marriage, it’s wonderful. It feels a little like heaven. It’s like looking up at the stars on a dark, clear night and seeing them as bright as they could possibly be because there is zero light pollution. It’s when you can look at your spouse and see them in all the beauty and glory that God made them to be.

Peace is experienced in marriage in that moment when there s no conflict, no thought of conflict, or nothing to instigate conflict. It’s when you can look in the eyes of your spouse and see a calm joy and thankfulness. It’s when you know there is goodwill still available, even if a small issue would dare arise.

If such a state is desirable to you, what can you do to promote it? Here are 7 different ideas to try:

• Say “I love you”. No matter how many time your spouse has heard it from you before, hearing it again with conviction and authenticity can do wonders to create an environment for peace.
• Say “I’m sorry”, even if you’re not sure what all you did to aggravate your spouse. Note that there are 5 different ways to apologize effectively, as outlined in the book The 5 Languages of Apology. Experiment with all 5. You’ll know when you find the right one for your spouse.
• Often the lack of peace has nothing to do with you. The cause is due to your spouse not feeling very good about themself. So identify something specific you really admire about your spouse, and tell them. It must be authentic and true. But who better to recognize and highlight their God-given gifts and talents than you.
• Sometimes all that’s needed as a diversion, something new to focus on. So present your spouse with a gift, something you know that they would be delighted to receive. It can be an item you purchased or something you made. What matters is that your spouse knows you were thinking specifically about them.
• Sometimes you need to create the right environment for peace. Try planning a special event for just the two of you. Ideally it’s an environment where you can both share out of your heart without any distractions. Remember, creating the right experience requires careful planning, a little creativity, and a whole lot of fun.
• There are occasions when the only way you are going to have peace is to earn it. You need to do something that proves your spouse matters more than anything else. Maybe that’s cleaning up the kitchen, fixing the leaky sink, or taking over the job of bathing the kids and putting them bed. What matters is that you are showing your desire for peace by doing something significant for your spouse.
• Last but not least is something everyone tends to forget. The power of a simple, kind, thoughtful touch. Give your spouse a gentle hug. Rub their back. Stroke their hair. Have them lie down and massage their feet. Feel the tension releasing and the peace entering into their body, and your relationship.

Remember, peace is oh so precious. It’s fragile and easily broken. If you truly desire peace in your marriage, then keep sowing the seeds that will encourage it. When one thing isn’t working, try something new. Don’t look upon it as a chore. Consider it a lifelong experiment of fun. In time, as you learn the right triggers, you will find that peace will return quicker and easier.

What are other ways you can build some peace into your marriage?

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

Leadership Questions:

• Does everyone on your team know exactly what is expected of him or her?
• What needs to change to promote greater clarity of focus for your team?
• What principles have you established for your team to prioritize and make decisions?
• If your team rejects the idea of rules, why?

Opting for Order

Effective leaders appreciate the importance of focus, discipline, and the alignment of a team around a common purpose. It’s how objectives are achieved and goals are reached. It’s how organizations – for profits and not-for-profits – make a significant difference in the lives of those they touch.

It’s interesting that as society has moved from the industrial age to the information age – and now to the post-information age – most leaders have shifted their leadership style from one of command and control (though old habits die hard) to one of engagement and empowerment. But even in this modern era of teamwork, encouragement of creative ideas, and freedom of expression in the workplace, the need for order has not changed.

The value of order is not just reserved for the military. There are certain basic leadership principles that are timeless, and the need for order is one of them.

In a world filled with chaos, the value of order is appreciated even more. When individuals want to know how they should prioritize their time and efforts, a clear set of principles or even rules provide clarity and focus. When competing agendas threaten to gridlock, real leaders rise up and establish order.

Here are 10 reasons why effective leaders establish order:

• Eliminates roadblocks
• Establishes boundaries
• Provides clarity of focus
• Encourages alignment of efforts
• Identifies true problem areas
• Promotes teamwork
• Boosts efficiency
• Instills confidence
• Stimulates growth
• Prepares the team for success

How can the value of order help improve your leadership effectiveness?

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

A great quote from Marquis is:
“Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues; always insist on it in your subordinates.”

I hope you can appreciate the humor in this quote, as it’s how many business leaders tend to operate.

As a differentiating value, Punctuality means being prompt, precise, or exact; the habit of adhering to an appointed time.

It’s interesting how we desire or even insist on punctuality from others. But do we demand it of ourselves?

No excuses. We are either punctual or we are not. There is no in-between.

Here’s one the great benefits of this value: respect. When others know they can rely on you to show up on time, or to start and end a meeting on time, then you earn their respect. Why? Because when you show that you respect their time, they will respect you.

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

Marketing Questions:

• Have you developed clear brand guidelines for your creative teams and marketing agencies?
• Who is charged with being the brand steward or “logo police” in your organization?
• What have you done to educate all employees, including management, on the importance of brand consistency?
• Who are the worst offenders at brand consistency, inside and outside your organization?

A Passion for Precision

Most consumers know that to build a successful brand requires repetition and consistency. In addition to the product and/or service, this applies to all forms of communication. However, in this area, few are aware of the importance of precision.

External marketing agencies and internal creative teams are the few people who live this value every day.

Ask any brand manager or marketer who has developed a set of “Brand Guidelines” or a “Graphic Standards Manual” and they will tell you about the importance of precision. These are documents designed just for the creative teams and marketing agencies, as well as printers and partners who produce marketing materials. Some of these documents are 20, 50, or even 100+ pages thick, outlining in tremendous detail the do’s and don’ts in creating acceptable communications. These are more than simple guidelines. They are rules that cover any and all types of communications. Break the rules and suffer the consequences.

For example, as an approved agency for Nike, Coca-Cola, or Ford, you can expect to have your hand slapped, or worse be fired, for trying the following:

• As an agency promoting Nike, altering the Nike swoosh into a happy face, or applying it to something non-sports related (e.g. a toilet).
• As an agency promoting Coca-Cola, choosing to use a color other than red or promoting the benefit of being hip instead of happiness.
• As an agency promoting Ford trucks, ignoring the “Built Ford Tough” image and instead focusing on the comfort features for passengers (e.g. drink holders in the back seat).

In other words, the “creatives” (designers and copywriters) are expected to follow the rules:

• Do NOT tamper with the brand logo – color, shape, size, font, or placement.
• Do NOT tamper with the core brand message – tagline, motto, or brand promise.
• Do NOT tamper with the brand look & feel  – the brand template, layout, colors, fonts, or style of images.

So where is the creative liberty or license to be creative? Aren’t the “creatives” expected to come up with cool ideas and “think outside the box”?

The truth is, the need for brand consistency always trumps creativity.

Smart agencies study the rules and learn how to be creative inside the brand sandbox. Successful agencies apply their creative talents while embracing the value of precision.

How can the value of precision help you create competitive advantage?

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

“This is an adventure: setting out to do something that doesn’t make sense, something for which you are not completely equipped, something that takes you into a place fraught with danger or uncertainty.”
 ~ Maile Smucker

Robert and I recently participated in an awesome conference – a Youth Ministers Leadership Conference. We were privileged to meet and present to a group of dedicated volunteers on an adventure with their church’s youth. Many were husbands and wives, leading together.

Did they all have everything they needed to meet the challenge of pouring themselves into their youth group? Not usually. Does what they do make sense all the time? Unlikely. Is there uncertainty in any of their hearts? I’m sure.

I believe they could define their commission to minister to the youth as an adventure…

What’s your adventure?

Are you leading in a volunteer position, or as couple in business together? Is it feeling like it doesn’t make sense, or you’re not equipped or there’s too much danger and uncertainty?

Welcome to the adventure!

You might be in the planning stage of your adventure. There may be doubts and uncertainty racing through your midnight thoughts. Is your adventure complete, and you’re now contemplating how this time has changed who you are?

Whether at adventure’s beginning, middle or end - I want to recommend the story of Maile & Shawn Smucker in ”How to Use a Runaway Truck Ramp“.

This couple with their four kids, spent four months and 10,000 miles in an RV – down the east coast from Pennsylvania to Florida, across the continent to California, and back around through Indiana all the way home again to Pennsylvania.  But it was more than a road trip.

It was an adventure.

Before leaving, they’d run the gamut from losing a business, moving into their parents’ basement, burdened with paying debt, selling everything, and starting a new career (with their four kids, all under eight years old). Then they did something on which many ponder, but few taken action:

“We decided to stay true to the passions God put in our hearts, no matter where that led us.”

An adventure can begin by responding to God’s call. 

This book isn’t just about travelling and sightseeing. It’s filled with stories of how God made Himself known – including needing to use a runaway truck ramp. There are contemplations on staying in the moment, the cost and value of routines, the questioning of God’s hand in life, to seeing that what He provides is greatest.

“At one point, I questioned God’s ability to give good gifts. I don’t question it any longer, I don’t ask why he took everything away because I now know that it wasn’t everything, only a small pile of brick and metal that wasn’t worth the price of my life.  

And He gave me an adventure instead.  Because the best gift giver doesn’t give you a photo of a waterfall.  No, He takes you to the foot of that waterfall, lets its billowy mists dampen your hair, the thunder of its lusty descent vibrate in your chest, and the coolness of its waters quench your thirst.”

 ~ Maile Smucker

Maile and Shawn Smucker are real people – they don’t hide their feelings, but rather share their fragile humanity and mortal thoughts. There are no heroes in this book – only a real husband/father, and wife/mother – living and growing in their adventure.

Just like you and me. 

Where are you – are you in your adventure?

What’s your story? How are you and your spouse overcoming that feeling of uncertainty in your mission in order to lead a meaningful life?

Today’s value was selected from the “Fun-Recreation” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

Marriage Questions:

• What’s the mental state you need to be in to fully enjoy a relaxing with your spouse?
• When is the best time of the week for you and your spouse to focus on relaxing together?
• What are you planning to do this weekend with your spouse that is free of tension or worries?
• Thinking about relaxing with your spouse, what’s the one thing your spouse would most like to do?

Learning to Release and Renew

When you are feeling overtaxed, over stimulated, or overwhelmed, it’s time for some rest and relaxation. This applies to all 4 areas of your life: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The purpose of relaxation is to refresh, rejuvenate, and recharge. It’s an important part of a healthy life.

The value of relaxation is also an important part of maintaining a healthy marriage. The challenges of daily life take a toll on even the most solid relationship between a husband and wife.

But what can you do to find that feeling of refreshing tranquility and create some time free of tension or worry with your spouse?

Here are 20 ways to build some relaxation into your marriage:

• Sit on your front porch and make up stories about the people walking by.
• Go for a bike ride.
• Throw a Frisbee in a nearby park or local schoolyard.
• Spread out a blanket on the grass, lie down and find familiar shapes in the clouds.
• Play a round of golf together.
• Go to a concert, or local café with live jazz.
• Make some popcorn and sit together to watch a favorite movie.
• Do some gardening and putter in the yard together.
• Get a couples massage and bring your own favorite music along.
• Go to a teahouse and try some new varieties of tea.
• Visit a zoo and watch the animals.
• Stroll through a botanical garden or nursery, holding hands, and enjoying the sights and smells of nature.
• Visit a historical cemetery and contemplate the shortness of your life.
• Try the different varieties of a local chocolatier.
• Go to a pottery place and make and/or paint something together.
• Find a secluded spot and go parking (and whatever else you choose to do together).
• Take some chairs and sit near a stream or river, listening to the sound of water flowing by.
• Take your neighbors dog for a walk (if you don’t have one of your own).
• Visit a local a park with a swing set and push your spouse on a swing.
• Lay on your bed and take turns reading a book out loud to each other (and if one of you falls asleep, that’s ok).

What are other ways you can build some relaxation into your marriage?

Today’s value was selected from the “Fun-Recreation” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

Leadership Questions:

• What drives your need to be social?
• What are the risks (and potential costs) of being too friendly with your team?
• How can you use your gregariousness to influence others in a positive, non-self-serving way?
• When socializing with your team, how do you ensure respect for your leadership is never damaged?

Being Genuine and Gregariousness

Sometimes leaders are portrayed as solemn, stoic, or even unhappy. While they may have earned the respect of others, who wants to spend time around such sad faces?

On the other end of the spectrum, overly outgoing leaders can be criticized as being fake. Think of political candidates who have mastered glad-handing techniques within a crowd, and yet no one believes they will follow through on their campaign promises.

Is it possible for a leader to be joyful and authentic? Can a leader be social with others without appearing insincere?

Gregarious leaders tend to be individuals who truly love people. They draw energy and strength by just being around others. In fact, they need to be around people. If they were forced to sit behind a desk all day and work alone it would feel like being in a prison.

So how does a leader remain genuine while being gregarious? Here are 7 ways:

• Embrace the value of candor. People need to know you mean what you say, and you say what you mean.
• Be grounded in humility, and show you don’t take yourself too seriously. Humility and humor make a leader seem more…. human.
• In addition to passion, produce results. As the old saying goes “Talk is cheap, but money buys the beer.”
• Ask a lot of questions. If you’re honestly seeking input and ideas from others, your gregarious nature will be viewed in a positive light.
• Combine the magic of charisma with other attributes to add real value to others.
• Do all things out of love (for others) and not for personal gain.
• Stay true to your fundamental values and don’t cross the line.

How can the value of gregariousness help improve your leadership effectiveness?

Today’s value was selected from the “Fun-Recreation” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.