8 ways to enhance your marriage with camaraderie
Camaraderie is a value of strength and unity.
The origins of the word ‘camaraderie’ come from the French word camarade, which means ‘comrade’ – someone who shares in your activities, occupation, and interests. Another word for comrade is ‘mate.’
In the military, the word ‘mate’ is frequently used to refer to a fellow soldier. An example reference would be when one soldier says to another “Well mate, what should be do to get ourselves out of this mess?” There’s a strong sense of togetherness and unity of purpose.
How much more is the word ‘mate’ applicable between a husband and wife? Truly, they are ‘life mates.’ Thus, a couple should be comrades of each other, with a high degree of camaraderie between them.
Interestingly, there is a natural sense of camaraderie when a couple gets married. But it’s the deliberate pursuit of closeness that can help keep the relationship strong.
Camaraderie and Closeness
Let’s first look at the meaning of camaraderie as a differentiating value. Camaraderie means a spirit of familiarity and closeness; chumminess.
The key word here is closeness, which is also a value. Closeness means familiarity; a feeling of being intimate and belonging together. This is at the heart of a strong marriage.
While I know some will zero in on the part of ‘being intimate’ – and that is important – I encourage you not to loose site of the last part – ‘belonging together.’ This fits with the aspect of chumminess in camaraderie.
It’s about being friendly – to each other.
If a husband and wife are friends with each other, they are more likely to be viewed as a friendly couple by everyone around them. And being friendly opens the door to unlimited possibilities of adding value to others.
But where to start?
Adding camaraderie to a marriage
Here are eight ways to promote the value of camaraderie that will enhance your marriage:
1) Develop a shared vision or purpose for your life. Nothing fosters camaraderie like a common goal and a reason to collaborate together.
2) Make quality time. Sitting watching TV together doesn’t count. Set aside some dedicated time together that is planned and purposeful. And it should be fun!
3) Face-to-face communication. This is the best way to tackle issues together, and brainstorm in an open, respectful environment. You’ll also feel progress as you build off each other’s ideas.
4) Allow for independence. All teams (sports, business, military, and family) have defined roles. When each person does their job well, the team wins. And it builds camaraderie.
5) Break bread together. Yes, sharing a meal together is a great catalyst for building camaraderie. And it often includes laughter, the sharing of stories, or even just peaceful moments together with no expectations.
6) Regular meetings. This might surprise some, but it really is beneficial to have weekly meetings to ensure both the husband and wife are aligned on planned activities, potential issues, and preferred outcomes.
7) Help out when needed. While you respect the independence of your spouse, camaraderie is built when you respond to a need, shore up a weakness, or when you prevent the other from a failure. And no special recognition is needed, as you’re a team.
8) Encourage your spouse. Often what is needed most is encouragement. The most common way is to affirm someone with positive words of encouragement. But there are many other ways too. You can find lots more on Lori’s blog.
Of course all of these require effort. But the rewards of fostering camaraderie are significant. You’ll not only enjoy the satisfaction of being part of a successful team, you’ll have a lifelong friend.
What other ways can you enhance your marriage with camaraderie?
