Are you a relational leader?
Relationships. For most people, it’s a mixed bag.
Some good. Some bad. And many are just forgotten.
To survive in this world, we don’ have to be proficient at building relationships. But to be an effective leader, it’s a requirement.
How do you know if you are a relational leader?
Do a quick self-assessment. Are you approachable? Do you inspire others? Do others understand what you say, instantly? Do people enjoy being around you (truly)?
A great quote from Margaret Wheatley, author of Leadership and the New Science, is “Leadership is always dependent on the context, but the context is established by the relationships we value.”
So, how much do you value relationships?
Relationships as a Value
As a differentiating value, Relationship means a state of connectedness between people; association; kinship. For leaders, it’s about connecting with others.
Some suggest you are either born with the ability to connect easily with others, or you’re not. Leadership expert John Maxwell writes in his book Everyone Communicates Few Connect, that connecting – or the ability to relate – is more skill than natural talent. It can be learned.
If you want to build relationships with others – to connect with them – then you must become a student of relationships.
Consider the following:
– Who do you choose to build relationships with – and why?
– What insights do you have to share – that matter to others?
– What experiences can you pull from – both successes and failures – to share with others?
– What sacrifices have you made that are relevant to others – that will help them through theirs?
– What skills have you honed that you can share with others – in an easily digestible form?
Relational leadership is about doing the right thing, for the right people, at the right time, and for the right reasons. When you meet a relational leader, you will know it.
A great relational leader
Retired General Colin Powell is a great relational leader. If you have ever had the privilege of meeting him or hearing him speak, you will immediately understand this statement.
The first time I heard Colin Powell speak was in 1999 at a leadership conference. The stories he told made him personable and real. Yet he possessed a quality of strength and conviction that is hard to find. He was a leader that I would trust to follow, and more importantly influenced to take action.
Colin Powell also possessed a sense of humor. At the peak of Operation Desert Storm, he recounted how he waited impatiently in his office at the Pentagon for the phone call from General Norman Schwarzkopf, to update him what was happen at the front lines in Iraq. Of course, he got the call. And then he said he turned on CNN to find out what was really going on…
At this conference, Colin Powell clearly had a mission. He was just beginning to promote a new cause, called America’s Promise Alliance, using the memorable image of the Little Red Wagon. Only because he was successful in building a relationship with the audience – and more importantly, with me – his promotion stuck.
Even after 12+ years, I still remember his message and the invitation to join his mission. He encouraged us to go into our communities and become mentors to children and young people. He encouraged us to focus on one child or youth. He encouraged us to make a difference in the life of one person. He said it would change the world.
To this day, when I am mentoring a young person, I think of Colin Powell and his speech. I am fulfilling a challenge he inspired me to do. And that brings honor to him – and me.
That’s the power of a relational leader.
Who do you know as a great relational leader?
