Posted on Jul 20, 2012

Couples Who Do Things Well

Picture a man and a women cooking together in a kitchen, she at her station and he at his.

Without looking up she asks for something and before she finishes her request, he has grabbed something off the counter and is handing it to her, without missing a beat on finishing his task.

The man then turns slightly, reaching to give a light shake to a pot cooking on the stove. Without a word spoken, the woman hands him a shaker, which he then uses to season the food he’s cooking.

Music is playing softly in the background. You hear a quiet laughter coming from the couple. They are focused on their tasks. And they’re having fun.

This could be a scene at home – or at a restaurant run by a married couple.

And it can happen outside the kitchen too.

Maybe it’s a couple working together in a retail store. It could be a small lab where they make things or conducting scientific experiments together.

Maybe it’s working as writers in a dual-office setting. Or it could even be within a large office environment where they manage many people, together.

There is a common element here. Couples who work well together understand the value of skillfulness.

The Value of Skillfulness

As a differentiating value, Skillfulness means having knowledge, ability and aptitude; capacity to do something well.

There are lots of people who possess knowledge, and even the ability. But they don’t really know how to apply it. Then there are those who try really hard but just seem to struggle to make things work.

A few folks have discovered and cultivated a skillfulness whereby they make whatever they do look easy. Generally, we think of these people as individuals: a skillful athlete, a skillful executive, and even a skillful politician.

But why not a married couple?

One of the best places to find such skillful couples is in business together. This is what my wife, Lori, and I are now doing and we work with such couples too.

Couples in Business Together

I’ve discovered that many doctors end up marrying other doctors. Why? They have a common interest. They understand each other’s thinking, focus, and priorities. There is also a healthy respect for each other’s specialties, expertise, and interests. So its not surprising to find husband and wife teams in the healthcare field.

Some couples choose to start a business together because they share a common interest or a common goal. Once they agree on a common vision, they then apply their different skills, working together to maximize the output of their efforts. In other words, they strive to do things well.

However, the road to working well together is often rocky, and sometimes feels like its impossible. Almost every couple in business together can tell you of multiple failures, disasters, nasty disagreements, and a sense of hopelessness. And yet they persevered on, learning to deal with issues, overcoming problems, and working together as a team.

For couples in business together, the value of skillfulness does not come from simply combining their individual efforts. Rather, like a beautiful piece of music where the magic is the silence between the notes, real skillfulness manifests itself in the connection between husband and wife. Yes, it requires much practice, but once its found, it’s a beautiful thing to observe.