Posted on Dec 13, 2012

Making the Dream Team a Reality

Do you remember dreaming of someday getting married? What happened to the dream after you got married? Was it replaced with another dream, or nothing at all?

What exactly is dreaming?

As a differentiating value, Dreaming means imaginative thinking; or a state of mind characterized by abstraction. For most people, dreaming is associated with positive, happy thoughts.

Dreaming is an important part of a healthy life.

Dreaming is also an important part of keeping your marriage healthy. But all too often, when challenges come along, married couples let their dreams slip away. They stop sharing their dreams with each other, and worse, they stop thinking happy thoughts.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Beware of Dream Killers

In his book Put Your Dream to the Test, author John Maxwell highlights 5 common reasons people have trouble identifying their dreams. Adapting these to married couples, these are the dream killers that couples need to beware of:

1) Discouraging people (including your spouse)

2) Past disappointments and hurts

3) Settling for average

4) Lack of confidence

5) Lack of imagination

If you’re feeling stifled by any of these issues, have hope. The ability to dream never dies. It just needs a little promoting, practice, and patience.

Even if your spouse is not that positive, start talking about your dream. Repetition works wonders. Talk about it from different angles and viewpoints. Show your excitement and passion for your dream.

But there’s a difference between nagging and sharing a dream.

Dreaming together as a couple is about creating a common vision. It’s when two people share the same dream, and have a desire to see the fulfillment of the dream – together.

Once you and your spouse have a shared dream, you become the ‘dream team.’ Now the question is how to turn the dream into a reality?

The 10 Question Test

In his book, Maxwell outlines 10 questions to explore the likelihood of achieving a dream. When adapted to a married couple, the questions would be:

1) The Ownership Question: Is our dream really our dream?

2) The Clarity Question: Do we clearly see our dream?

3) The Reality Question: Are we depending on factors within our control to achieve our dreams?

4) The Passion Question: Does our dream compel us to follow it?

5) The Pathway Question: Do we have a strategy to reach our dream?

6) The People Question: Have we included the people we need to realize our dream?

7) The Cost Question: Are we willing to pay the price for our dream?

8) The Tenacity Question: Are we moving closer to our dream?

9) The Fulfillment Question: Does working toward our dream bring satisfaction?

10) The Significance Question: Does our dream benefit others?

Maxwell suggests that the greater the preparation before actually launching out to accomplish your dream, the greater the chance you will actually see your dream come true. What better preparation than working together through these questions with your spouse.

That’s what makes a Dream Team a reality!