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Posted on Feb 28, 2013

The Value of Cautiousness in Marriage

The value of cautiousness means showing careful forethought; being attentive to possible danger; prudence.

Marriage Questions:

  • Are you always alert to possible dangers that could harm your marriage?
  • How attentive are you to the needs and fears of your spouse?
  • How can you rephrase your question or comments so that you avoid causing offense?
  • What’s the best time of day to approach your spouse about a sensitive topic?
  • How much forethought do you put into talking with your spouse about difficult issues?

Caring with Cautiousness

If your spouse has a problem with alcohol, drugs, or other dangerous habits, you likely have an intimate understanding of the value of cautiousness.

You love your spouse and don’t want to see them get hurt. Nor do you want to be hurt yourself, or see anyone else in the family get hurt.

It’s ok to care with caution. Your ‘danger’ antenna is always on. Trying to show you care while maintaining peace, and remaining positive, is like walking a tightrope – while juggling. Or sometimes, it might feel like you’re living in a war zone.

Yet, many do it every day and survive. Their relationship survives. Better still, through patience, persistence, and a healthy dose of cautiousness, you can help your spouse also see the dangers. You can help them reach a place where they want to change and move away from those things that are harmful to you and the family – and themselves.

Note, there’s a big difference between cautiously caring and caring with cautiousness. If you lead with caution then you come across as being reserved and holding something back. Even if you do care, your spouse might feel like you’re just waiting for them to disappear or die. However, when caution is added to care, attentiveness, and prudence, then it’s more like the ER doctor observing a patient’s progress until they get well enough that they can leave the hospital and go home. In other words, what you lead with matters.

How can the value of cautiousness help improve your marriage and the lives of others?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Pragmatism-Prudence” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.

 Thankful to Link up with

Happy Wives Club  |  Thought Provoking Thursday

6 Comments

  1. Susanne Storer February 28, 2013

    Awesome!

    • Robert February 28, 2013

      Thanks.

  2. Sylvia R February 28, 2013

    Thoughtful, wise perspective here, about the need for caution, yet caring leading. And valuable. Has me pondering. Thanks.

  3. Mai Bateson March 1, 2013

    Love the way how it is written and explained. It is true that if you value your marriage, you have to take necessary precaution as to not hurt yourself and anyone else in the family. You have to learn to always give and take. Love, respect and honor each other is a MUST.

  4. Fawn Weaver March 4, 2013

    I’m so happy you clarified that there is a “big difference between cautiously caring and caring with cautiousness.” Such an important distinction.

    • Robert March 5, 2013

      Thanks Fawn.