The Value of Affection in Marriage
The value of affection means a positive feeling of liking; having or displaying warmth.
Marriage Questions:
- How do you gently touch your spouse to show you are interested in them?
- What happens when you kiss the nape of your spouse’s neck?
- When you say you love your spouse, how do you show it?
- Do you let your spouse know when you are feeling happy and content in their arms?
- Is it evident to others when you’re feeling positive about your spouse?
- When you’re thinking happy thoughts about your spouse, are you smiling?
Being Attentive with Affection
When do you choose to say: “I love you”? When should you just actively listen? When is touch appropriate, and when is it not? What’s too much? What’s too little?
A healthy marriage manages to strike the right balance between actively showing affection versus smothering with love. Showing affection is not meant to be rote or a ritual. Affection is best when it is spontaneous. But it always needs to be sincere.
Signs of positive affection show up in many ways. Here are a just a few:
- Eye contact. From across the room, through a window, or up close, there are many ways to display warm affection with just your eyes. Ok, maybe a bit of help from a raised eyebrow, batting eyes, or even a wink too!
- Show it. Do something for your spouse that really matters to them. It’s even more powerful if what you’re doing is something your spouse knows you hate. That’s affection in action!
- Simple sounds. A quiet hmmm. A soft uh-huh. Or even an outright chuckle can send a message to your spouse that you have a warm, positive feeling about them.
- Miming. Acting out humorous gestures and thoughtful movements without words can engage the head and the heart. It’s like a form of sign language between a husband and wife that only they can understand.
- Handiwork. Your hands contain tremendous power. Try giving your spouse a back rub, massage their neck and shoulders, or gently rub the temples of the head (great way to relieve a headache).
- Hugs & Kisses. Nothing quite shows affection like a hug and a kiss. Men, see what happens when you gently kiss the back of the neck of your wife. Women, see what happens when you gently put your arms around your husband and squeeze.
If you want your spouse to be more attentive to you, try being more attentive with affection first. Go on…. give it a try. See what happens….
What other signs of affection would you add to this list?
How can the value of affection help improve your marriage?
Today’s value was selected from the “Appreciation-Kindness” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.
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