Posted on Oct 31, 2013

How to Build Wonder into Your Marriage

When someone we know, like, and trust asks us to “Imagine….” they are tapping the edges of wonder. The beginning of new possibilities is opening up. Hope is on the horizon.

The value of wonder possesses a power to draw us in, to pull us closer, to engage us. It opens doors we didn’t know existed.

As a differentiating value, Wonder means something that causes amazement or awe; curiosity.

In marriage, creating a wonder takes a bit of work. It requires some thought, planning, and careful execution.

Wonder occurred the day you proposed to get married. You prepared for and planned where, when and how you would ask the big question.
Wonder occurred the day you delivered your baby. After nine months of preparation, you suffered greatly to give life to a child, a gift to you and your husband as a product of your love.
Wonder occurred the day you bought or built your first home, and you could exclaim, “we did it!” No matter how scary it seemed, you proved that you could move forward together.

But as life and time marches on, the wonder in marriage can start to disappear. So what can you do to build wonder back into your marriage?

Building Wonder into Your Marriage

Is there a major trip somewhere you and your spouse have been talking about that you could begin planning? This is not about looking for the cheapest flights. It’s about planning the experience. What cities will you visit? What major attractions will you see? Are there specific kinds of foods you will want to try? What books, maps, or flyers can you order to help plan and prepare?

Is there a major initiative that your spouse longs to move forward? Maybe it’s a home renovation project. Maybe it’s bringing local kids together to start a little league, or starting a new ministry to help a specific group of people in need.

When planning something that will generate wonder you need to consider how you can put all the pieces in place – but NOT put it together. Be sure to leave room for curiosity that leads to some amazement. Allow your spouse to experience the joy of discovery as they learn about each part of the plan, one piece at a time.

And don’t forget to allow your spouse to participate in the planning experience. Wonder is not just about the product (outcome). The process or road to get there is just as important for both of you to experience together.

Remember, a wonder needs time to be fully experienced.

Building wonder into your marriage can help make your marriage wonderful.