Posted on Feb 13, 2014

Putting Some Playfulness Back Into Your Marriage

Don't be boring!

So, you’re going to give your spouse a box of chocolates, or flowers, or both for Valentine’s Day. That took all of – what – ten minutes of thought in the store? Maybe you even made a quick evaluation at the checkout: “Yeah, she/he is worth that much.”

Seriously?

Ok, maybe you decided to make a date with your spouse to go out for dinner together at a nice restaurant, and you are “hoping” the investment proves to be worth it. But one nice dinner is not going to make a huge difference in your marriage.

Why not choose to be different? Consider the simple art of being playful and allow your spouse to be a kid again.

Remember the Kid inside

Remember when you were a kid, around 5 or 6 years old? I bet you knew how to play with your friends really well. Laughing, running, giggling, hiding, screaming, poking others, making up new games – or changing them midstream – were all part of a normal day of playing.

As a child, we instinctively understood the value of playfulness. It came naturally.

But then we grow up.

We become an adult and we tend to forget the simplicity and joys of being 6 years old. The seriousness of life takes over and playfulness is pushed into the background.

Then you get married. Now you must be responsible. (yuck!)

And yet….

Bringing the Kid back

Even as adults, there’s still a kid in all of us. There’s one in you. There’s one in your spouse too.

Sometimes, it’s good to bring the kid back. It’s healthy for you AND your spouse.

Here’s the coolest part. When you get married, you have the perfect friend built right into the relationship (and if you haven’t experienced that yet, what a great opportunity to start!).

So guess what friends do. They play together, have fun together, laugh together, and do silly stuff together.

As a differentiating value, Playfulness means full of fun and high spirits; a disposition that creates amusement.

So let the playfulness begin!

Oh…. feeling stuck? Is that adult mind of yours getting in the way?

Playful Ways to Make Your Spouse Smile

Here are a few playful ideas that might help stimulate your “kid” inside:

Sing to your spouse the song, “You are my sunshine.” – leave it on their voicemail.
Draw a picture of the two of you kissing (even if it’s stick figures with labels) as an IOU. Leave it under his/her toothbrush.
Make her/him hot chocolate with a spritz of whipped cream. Put some whipped cream on your upper lip & serve it.
Find an old photo of the two of you & post it on Facebook with the caption, “She/He makes me smile.”
Make her/him a crown from tin foil. Label it “Queen”/”King” of my heart. Present it with a bow/curtsy.
Wear a T-Shirt that expresses your positive feelings about being married.
Tie a red paper heart onto her/his shoe laces, with the note, “You’ve tied up my heart.”
Give him/her a banana with the words, “I’m bananas for you!” written on the peel.
Put post-it notes on your pillowcases, “Sleeping Beauty” and “Prince Charming”.