How To Make Your Marriage Journey A Positive Exploration
Marriage is a journey into the unknown. It’s a path neither husband or wife have traveled before. Yes, some couples may have experience living together before getting married. Yes, some may have been married before and are in a second marriage (or more). But for ALL couples, the journey forward is always new. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. Or the day after that… or the week after that… and who knows what a month will bring… Just as the pioneers of old explored new lands and territories, so too do married couples explore new territories of marriage, each and every day. In other words, regardless of your personal history, family background, or life experiences so far, you are constantly on a journey of the unknown.
- What new things will you learn today or tomorrow that will shape or alter your relationship with your spouse?
- What will your spouse experience today or tomorrow that will impact your marriage?
- What unknown external factors will force you and your spouse to deviate from your present course?
So…. this leads to an interesting question:
What kind of marriage journey are you on?
A Negative Trip vs. A Positive Exploration
Many couples that express dissatisfaction with their marriage feel like they are on one long negative trip that never seems to end. It’s as if they just can’t wait to get to their destination and end the whole bad experience. There are also many married couples that are clearly enjoying their journey. They view each new day as an exciting opportunity to learn something new, share new experiences together, and strengthen their relationship. Which type of journey are you on? If you’re struggling to make your marriage journey a positive one, consider the value of exploration. As a differentiating value, Exploration means a careful or systematic consideration or search. This means being deliberate about what you experience along your marriage journey.
Exploring the Senses
A simple way to create a positive exploration is through the 5 senses: taste, smell, sound, sight, and touch.
Look for opportunities to TASTE new foods.
- Try a new restaurant, or a new dish at a favorite restaurant. (Lori and I recently stumbled across the most amazing Viennese restaurant in the Finger Lakes region of New York.)
- Experiment with a new recipe for dinner.
- Go to the farmer’s market in another city or town and try something new.
- Explore the SMELL of various fragrances.
- Enjoy the aroma of a fresh bouquet of flowers in your living room.
- Experiment with different scented candles in your home.
- Experience the fragrance of different oils in a bubble bath (best if done together).
- Search for new SOUNDS.
- Go on a nature walk and identify as many different kinds of birds as you can.
- Explore different genres of music (and artists) to find one you both really like.
- Take your spouse to a live concert (indoors or outdoors).
Enjoy new SIGHTS together.
- Go for a drive together and see what unique or odd things capture your attention. (For example, Lori and I recently discovered an old tank with a snowplow on the front of it. What a great conversation piece!)
- Visit a museum or attraction in a new city or town.
- Plan a vacation (or weekend getaway) somewhere new.
- Experiment with new forms of TOUCH.
- Go for a walk and hold hands. It helps manage your pace, and creates a unique bond.
- A foot massage can work wonders for your relationship. So can a scalp massage (or any other kind of massage).
- Never underestimate the power of a hug, especially when they are not expected.
Another powerful way to make your marriage journey a positive exploration is to systematically learn and share something new together.
- Attend a marriage conference or sign up for a marriage enrichment program. Don’t wait until your marriage is in conflict. These experiences are more rewarding when your marriage is healthy.
- Get together with another couple married longer than you and ask them to share a few of their positive experiences. There is always something positive to learn from others.
- Get together with a newly married couple and share a few of your own positive experiences with them. It is highly rewarding when you share with others.
So… how will you start your marriage journey from here? It might be an unknown, but the type of journey is up to you!
What are some other ways for a married couple to make their marriage journey a positive exploration?
Today’s value was selected from the “Creativity-Uniqueness” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.
