How To Preserve a Healthy Marriage With Independence
America celebrates Independence Day on July 4th. It’s a time to rejoice over the freedoms enjoyed by many today.
This got me thinking how the value of independence applies to marriage.
As a differentiating value, Independence means freedom from control, constraint or influence of others; or autonomous.
Sadly, many husbands and wives view independence as freedom or autonomy from their spouse. They think it means they can do whatever they want and don’t have to consult with or listen to their spouse. It’s often this kind of thinking that causes the end of many marriages.
This is NOT a healthy view of independence – or marriage.
Marriage is about the union of a man and woman, where two become one. A healthy marriage is one where both husband and wife work together, not separately.
Independence in marriage occurs when a husband and wife can enjoy
- freedom from control of others, including parents, siblings, and even children.
- freedom from external constraints, including their kids’ schedule to play sports or other activities.
- freedom from outside influences, including friends, neighbors, and even co-workers.
Real independence in marriage means a husband and wife stand united AND have the autonomy to do what they choose to do – together.
Of course, this does not mean a married couple must physically do everything together (e.g. grocery shopping, chores, hobbies). This is neither realistic nor practical.
Independence in marriage is simply about protecting the special bond that exists between a husband and wife.
So one way to preserve a healthy marriage is for a husband and wife to enforce the value of independence, and protect their freedoms to function as a united couple.
How else can independence help preserve a healthy marriage?
Today’s value was selected from the “Effectiveness-Influence” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.
