How to Have a Beautiful Marriage
Why don’t we see 80-year-olds on the cover of fashion magazines? At what age is someone no longer considered beautiful?
Yet, many people smile at the sight of seeing an old married couple holding hands. It’s clear there’s something special in their relationship. But only the husband and wife know the secret.
When a young man is telling a friend about a young lady he just met, it’s not uncommon for him to describe her as beautiful, pretty, or even gorgeous. And the young lady might describe him as handsome, good-looking, or even cute.
Why? Because that’s the way they see each other.
Of course, this simple outward view doesn’t remain. In time, the relationship develops and the man and woman see each other as they really are, as per the common expression: “warts and all.”
So how do couples married 50+ years still see the beauty in their spouse? They practice a few helpful habits.
How to Have a Beautiful Marriage
As a differentiating value, Beauty means the qualities that give pleasure to the senses; that which is attractive.
To recognize beauty in marriage, you have to identify the qualities that give you pleasure, and distinguish that which you find attractive.
There are three ways to do this.
- Be thankful. Follow the advice of the old church hymn, “Count your many blessings daily, one by one.” If you journal, write down a few things you are thankful for about your spouse. When you are observing your spouse in their daily routine, consider the qualities that bring joy to your heart. When you pray, tell God one or two things that you most appreciate about your spouse, because they are a gift from God for you! An attitude of gratitude comes from regular practice of seeing the good in your life, including the beauty in your spouse.
- Share it. If you talk about the beautiful sunset you saw last night, why not talk about the beautiful qualities of your spouse. Tell your spouse. Tell your family and friends. The more we talk about the good things in our life, they more they become real to us. And just as the sun rises and sets each day, consider the pleasurable qualities of your spouse that exist morning and night – just for you. Don’t ignore them. Share them.
- Celebrate it. If you celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, why not celebrate your spouse at other times of the year? When your spouse has used their gifts and talents for your benefit, celebrate it. This could be when they complete a major project, such as renovating the bathroom or creating a beautiful piece of art. This could also be done over minor things, such as cutting the grass or making a nice meal. Of course, a celebration does not have to be a major production. It might be a simple gift, like a candy bar or making their favorite drink. It can also be something physical such as giving them a hug and kiss (or more if you feel so inclined). The point is, acknowledge the beautiful qualities of your spouse. Such assets should be celebrated!
To have a beautiful marriage, consider when you first met. It’s what you see that counts.
Truly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
What are the attractive qualities you see in your spouse?
Today’s value was selected from the “Beauty-Style” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.
