Posted on Dec 20, 2012

Applying the Serenity Prayer to Marriage

Are you familiar with the Serenity Prayer?

The short form is mostly widely known, as follows:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The longer, original version by Reinhold Niebuhr, clarifies the need to surrender our will to God and trust Him to make all things right. This version also encourages us to enjoy life, one moment at a time.

There’s a reason this prayer has become so widely known. It speaks to everyone’s desire to remove internal stress and replace it with peace.

As a differentiating value, Serenity means the absence of mental stress or anxiety; or a disposition of calmness and tranquility. It’s a way of defining our own Garden of Eden.

How beautiful when the value of serenity can be established in a marriage.

Serenity in Marriage

Coach and blogger Deb Potts recently wrote a post about serenity in marriage. She begins by highlighting that opposites attract, like two magnets with opposite charges. This creates tension. The problem is that a husband and wife often then spend the rest of their lives trying to change each other, instead of learning to work together.

To help your marriage, Potts suggests adapting the famous serenity prayer as follows:

… accept the things I cannot change. Acknowledge that you cannot change your spouse. Instead identify and celebrate your spouse’s strengths.

…courage to change the things I can. The only thing that you can change is – you. Take courage and admit your imperfections and look carefully and honestly at yourself. Then begin the journey of change with yourself.

…wisdom to know the difference. If the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom [Proverbs 1:7], then apply a little of it to appreciate the differences between you and your spouse.

God called the two of you with purpose, each with your own set of strengths. Learning to accept each other as you are, being open to change yourself, paves the way for a marriage that can be filled with tranquility.