7 Ways to Preserve Eagerness in Your Marriage
When you were still dating, do you remember how eager you were to see your sweetheart? I remember it like it was yesterday.
Lori and I dated for 4 years before we got married. For a period of time, I worked in a town 80 miles away – which doesn’t sound that far until you realize I had no vehicle.
On the weekends, I would take various buses so I could see my sweetheart
Every Friday I would take an intercity bus to a major hub, then switch to another intercity bus. Then when I got close to Lori’s city, I would take two different city buses and walk the final piece to her parent’s house.
This weekly excursion took over 4 hours. But I didn’t mind it a bit, because I was going to see the one person who mattered more than anyone else!
It’s amazing what you can do if you embrace the value of eagerness, which means excited by the desire of the pursuit; or prompt willingness.
Some would suggest that when you “win the pursuit” (i.e. getting married) then all eagerness dissipates. But it doesn’t have to end there.
7 Ways to Preserve Eagerness in Marriage
- Set goals with your spouse. When you are eager about your shared goals, it rubs off on your relationship. Note: once you achieve a goal, set a new one.
- Be deliberate about setting up date nights. It’s amazing how excitement builds when we know about an upcoming date. Anticipation is half the fun!
- Use a positive form of teasing. Leave little notes for your spouse or send a text indicating you have a surprise planned for them when you see them next. Note: this works especially well if one spouse is traveling on business.
- Do the dance. Literally show your spouse how excited you are about an upcoming event you’ve planned together by doing a little dance in front of them. And don’t worry about appearing goofy (they know that already).
- Return for a kiss. When you leave for work, wait one minute outside and then return abruptly and kiss your sweetheart with gusto – and leave! Never under-estimate the power of pursuit for a kiss.
- Show your passion about their project. Ask your spouse what one task or project around the home matters most to them (Note: it needs to be something they would like you to do). Then put as much effort into showing your enthusiasm for doing it as much as actually completing it. (Careful: your passion must be authentic)
- Prepare when answering the phone. When you can tell it’s your spouse calling (hint: give your cellphone a special ringtone when your spouse calls), stop for one second, take a breath, smile, and then answer. Allow your eagerness to talk with your spouse to show itself in the tone of your voice.
Eagerness is a choice. Allow the same feeling of eagerness that consumed you while you were dating to keep your marriage strong. You have a great future together!
What are other ways to preserve eagerness in your marriage?
Today’s value was selected from the “Enthusiasm-Teamwork” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.
