Does Your Need for Neatness Help or Hinder Your Marriage?

A happy marriage is about the people not the place.

Ok, now I can feel all the “neat freaks” getting restless. Bear with me….

Let’s take a look at the real issue here.

Do you feel there is a right way and a wrong way to put away and store things?

Or

Do you feel there is a better way to manage everyday life at home?

The first one is about control. The second is about caring.

If you wish your spouse would change their habits (to fit your lifestyle), it has nothing to do with neatness. It has everything to do with you.

But if your true wish is to make life better for both you and your spouse – without overhauling your spouse’s habits – then neatness might be a useful ally.

As a differentiating value, Neatness means clean or organized; showing care in execution.

• It’s clean (enough) if the person who plans to use it is happy with it.
• It’s organized (enough) if the person who needs it can quickly and easily find it.

Now maybe you feel the need to clean something so you feel better. Maybe you need to organize a closet, the kitchen, or garage to make you feel more in control. That’s perfectly fine.

Have at it. Go to town. Make yourself happy.

Just remember, you are doing it for yourself, not your spouse. It’s your problem, not theirs. It’s to make you feel better, and no one else.

So…. if you are a self-proclaimed neat freak, don’t use your need for neatness as a weapon against your spouse. Use it to help your marriage, not hinder it.

 

If you are wondering who is the neat freak in our home, it’s me. Thankfully, Lori bears with me when I go on a neatness binge. She knows it’s not about her. I’m doing it to make myself feel better. Then when I’m all done I can go back to being normal again.

 

When do you feel the need to embrace the value of neatness?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.