The Benefits of Stillness in Marriage

To truly experience God, every individual must understand how to be still. As written in Psalms:

“Be still and know that I am God.”
– Psalm 46:10

Is this also applicable to a married couple?

To me, an important part of a marriage vow is the concept that both the bride and groom are making a covenant not only with each other but also with God. In other words, like a triangle it’s a 3-way covenant.

God has as much interest (or more) in the marriage vow as the man or woman.

This means that in addition to spending time alone together, a husband and wife are also to spend time together with God. This requires learning to practice the value of stillness in marriage.

As a differentiating value, Stillness means quiet or calm; inactivity or motionless. This might mean being still for only 5-10 minutes. Or it could be for an hour or more.

Note that this is not a time of prayer, or planning, or even problem solving. It’s a time to just be still – together with God.

For some this idea might seem easy and delightful. But for others, this might seem difficult or even downright painful.

If you struggle with the whole concept of being still, consider the following benefits.

Benefits of Stillness in Marriage

Stillness helps a married couple:

1. Be thankful. Gratitude is the single most important factor for leading a happy life. Spend 10 quiet minutes at the end of every day with your spouse and consider all that went well in your day. It will make a world of difference in your marriage, and for your personally.
2. Calm emotions. Rarely is anything as terrible as we might think. Let your sighs shift from exasperation to the releasing of pressure. Together with your spouse, put your trust in God and know that everything will be ok.
3. Maintain perspective. It’s important to keep everything in perspective and remember what matters most. While your relationship with God should always be first, your relationship with your spouse is next most important. Together, you can remind each other to not sweat the small stuff.
4. Reprioritize. Sometimes the non-urgent and non-important items take control of our lives. It’s important to keep only what’s truly important at the top of the list.
5. Preserve the vow. Even when a marriage seems rocky, it helps to be reminded that God is always in control. He will always uphold his part of the vow, and provide a pathway forward.

To help you and your spouse embrace the value of stillness in your marriage, I encourage you to watch this video together.

 

How do you practice the value of stillness, either alone or with your spouse?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Determination-Focus” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.