Strengthening Marriage Through The Value Of Correctness

Being politically correct has become so commonplace it has even snuck into the home. This is not helpful in building a strong marriage.

It’s ok if you choose to refrain from speaking or behaving in public in such a way that it might offend a particular group of people. But in your own home, and in your marriage, having open and honest conversation is an essential ingredient for creating a resilient relationship.

The longer a husband and wife are married, the more they should know how the other thinks and feels across a wide range of topics. The way to build this knowledge bank is through the value of correctness.

As a differentiating value, Correctness means conformity to a fact or truth; free from defects.

If this value makes you uncomfortable, be sure you understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy correctness.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Correctness

An unhealthy form of correctness in marriage occurs when

• you are not honest with your spouse.
• you are inconsistent in your opinions or pick and choose when you take action.
• you promote to your spouse something as true or good, yet you don’t agree with it.
• you treat your spouse as though there are no problems in your marriage, yet are hurting deeply inside.
• you give your spouse a fake smile, yet harbor anger or resentment..

A healthy form of correctness in marriage occurs when

• you preserve the integrity of your relationship with openness and honesty.
• you hold yourself – and your spouse – accountable for whatever you say or do.
• you present specific facts to your spouse along with your feelings and opinions.
• you consider very carefully when and where to speak to your spouse about a sensitive topic, and never avoid addressing it.
• you always speak the truth, in love.

Correctness in marriage has nothing to do with being perfect. It’s about being free from “false” defects that don’t belong to you. It’s about being honest with your spouse – and yourself.

Correctness in marriage is about being the real you: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Over time, as you and your spouse get to know each other better, ideally the good is enhanced, the bad is understood and accepted, and the ugly just fades away.

 

How can one spouse help the other shift from unhealthy correctness to a healthy one?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.