When Uniformity is Important in Marriage

What comes to mind when you think of “uniformity”?

• A production factory with hundreds or thousands of the same units rolling off the line, after passing inspection and quality control.
• School children all wearing the same outfits, with their teacher smiling proudly in-behind.
• The Stormtroopers from the movie Star Wars, following the commands of Darth Vader.

These examples all portray a vision of discipline, order, and control.

That’s one way to consider the value of uniformity.

But uniformity is more than just outward appearance. It can also apply to how individuals work together, regardless of dress code.

As a differentiating value, Uniformity means the quality of lacking diversity or variation; consistent. [Yes, there’s an irony by referring to uniformity with differentiation.]

Considering this value from the inside out, there are some important applications to marriage.

Uniformity in Marriage

In a relationship, uniformity means two operate as one. They are striving for the same goal. There is no diversity or variation of vision.

They also operate together with consistency.

One of the most obvious places this applies is in parenting.

• Children do best where both parents are consistent in their actions and viewpoints. (Their yes is a yes. And their no is a no).
• When children experience uniformity between their parents, it provides a sense of comfort and confidence. They know the boundaries and the consequences if they step out of bounds.
• It makes it easier to parent when one is away. Children know that if mom or dad say something, the other would be in complete agreement. (And it’s not worth arguing.)

Another important area is in dealing with individuals or groups outside of the marriage.

• When a husband and wife team is known to be consistent, it increases their leverage when lobbying for changes within their community.
• If a couple is fighting a legal battle, it provides a wall of strength against the opposing side.
• It increases credibility when trying to resolve a sticky issue with a third party, such as returning a defective product, dealing with a government agency, or fighting an insurance claim.

Finally, uniformity is an important element in creating a lasting marriage. It means a husband and wife:

• Consistently show love and respect for one another.
• Agree upon and live by a common set of values.
• Continually forgive each other and wipe the slate clean.

Uniformity might even be one of the reasons why many couples married 50+ years look alike!

 

What are other areas where uniformity is important in marriage?

 

Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Value.