Embracing H.E.L.P. in your marriage

Of all the married couples Lori and I admire, there is one that really stands out.

Peter & Donna Knoblauch have been very good friends of ours for many years. They live in Ontario, Canada and are celebrating their 25^th wedding anniversary this summer.

On the surface all looks normal. Two grown children who just finished college. Nice home. Good job. Involved in their church. Who could ask for more?

But beneath what is visible, is a huge struggle.

Depression.

Donna has been battling severe depression for over 10 years. Together, Peter and Donna have sought help from numerous sources.

The Power of H.E.L.P.

Last fall Peter was a guest writer on Lori’s blog about his struggle with Donna’s depression. He wrote about a specific kind of help that he both gives and receives. You can read the full post here.

My friend Peter described H.E.L.P. as:

+ Hope, for something to change and a brighter future.
+ Encouragement, through listening, sharing, and action.
+ Love, unconditionally, consistently, and untiringly.
+ Prayer, giving thanks to God and asking for continued strength.

The first three are values. Prayer encompasses them all. Together they make a powerful combination.

If you read Peter’s post, you’ll see many nice comments. I know that Peter was surprised to see how much his post resonated with others.

On the one hand, the power of sharing reveals to others that they are not alone. There is strength in numbers.

On the other hand, Peter and Donna’s ongoing struggle draws a huge admiration for continuing a good fight. Persevering through trials over time generates respect.

Be a Friend

Peter and Donna – and MANY other couples who struggle with depression – need our help. Resources are available through organizations such such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Education, awareness, and support are needed to help battle this hidden illness.

There are no simple or easy answers. But we can all help, even by simply being a friend.

Last year, Peter and I participated together in the John Maxwell certification program to become coaches, speakers, and trainers. Together we experienced double the learning benefit – and double the fun.  And the four of us – Peter & Donna, Lori and I – enjoyed some wonderful time together in Florida. It’s important to continue creating good memories.

We try to remain aware of Donna’s condition and the need to continue with H.E.L.P at all times. We also accept the reality of what is while remaining positive for what can be. It keeps all of us moving forward.

And our admiration for Peter & Donna as a couple continues to grow.

 

Do you know someone who suffers with depression?

What are the values that help you persevere?