Considering the Time of Completion in Marriage

It’s a beautiful thing when a man and woman enter into holy matrimony. Two become one, and often multiply.

Love. Friendship. Teamwork. Connectedness. Fun. Just a few of the ways to describe the benefits of marriage.

But what about when the marriage is completed?

No marriage can last forever. And I’m not talking about divorce.

We’re all guaranteed that at some point the party will end – at least here on earth. So what are you doing to ensure both you and your spouse are prepared for it?

This may be the time to consider the value of completion. As a differentiating value, Completion means accomplishment; or a concluding action.

Acknowledging Your Accomplishments

When we think of accomplishments, often the first thought revolves around a to-do list that has items checked off. Maybe you consider how many jobs you’ve had or businesses you started. Or maybe how much money you earned (and spent). Some might even look at degrees earned, or patents filed for their inventions.

But when it comes to marriage, and the relationship with your spouse, consider a few of the intangible items:

• How many quiet moments you shared together.
• How many times you shared the same bed together.
• How many prayers were answered, on behalf of your spouse.
• How many times you could say, “I love you”.
• How many meals you could share together.
• How many times you could say, “Thank you”.

If you are nearing a time of completion, it’s good to rejoice and celebrate over such important accomplishments.

But what about the other side of completion: preparing for concluding actions?

Preparing for Completion

It is both helpful and responsible to prepare for a time of completion. Your concluding actions, even after death, often set the tone for how you are remembered.

Consider the following items:

• Prepare a Will This is more than just ensuring your assets are distributed properly. This includes the decisions for your own funeral (e.g. cremation or burial), and what you wish to be completed thereafter (e.g. spreading your ashes at sea). Make it easier on your spouse by discussing and deciding on all of these things BEFORE your time is up. (Two potential resources for your consideration: LegacyWriter or FormSwift).
• Prepare a Power of Attorney. This is critical (for your benefit) in case you are unable to make financial or even health-related decisions, while still living. Before you find yourself incapacitated, help your spouse by providing clear directions.
• Make a list of all the important financial details (keep it simple, ideally one or two sheets). If/when you die, your spouse needs to know what bills to pay (and how); all sources of income; all life insurance polices; all banking and investment details; and where all important documents are kept. And don’t forget the details for online banking.
• Make a list of key people. Who is the Executor of your Will? Who is the best person to talk to at your bank? Who can help your spouse with investment advice and decisions?
• Identify specific items with names. Are there special possessions you would like loved ones to receive? Don’t make your spouse figure it out. Identify and label them ahead of time.
• Write a letter. If you know your time is coming shortly, why not write a letter to your spouse? What would you want him or her to know, if you could come back for just a few more minutes? In case the ending didn’t go as smoothly as planned (for whatever reason), this provides the opportunity for healthy closure for the special relationship you could share together.

Of course, not everyone is afforded the opportunity to plan their completion. For some, God decided to end it sooner than expected.

But many people could – and should – carefully consider their completion. It makes it easier for their spouse, and other family members, and it leaves a lasting positive impact. It’s also another way to add to your list of accomplishments!

What are other items that should be considered before completing one’s life?

Today’s value was selected from the “Determination-Focus” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.